vacation update
Sep. 6th, 2005 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kublakhanHad a chat with my sis. While she didn't come right out and say it, I think the impression I got this past weekend was due to her being quite upset at being in the middle of the two warring factions. In truth, I can't blame her. She's watched both of us act like spoiled brats and thinks we both need a swift kick to the head. I wish I could find a way to extricate her from all of this but, for better or worse, this war-torn battleground is all we have left of our family.
We visited my parents grave and my grandmother just before we left Kansas. Those visits made me realize something: my family is dwindling. I don't have a mother or father, both my grandfather's are dead as is my dad's mom. My grandmother is mute and, if it weren't for the fact her eyes seemed to brighten when Celia sang to her, she's all but dead. Of my relatives, I can count on one hand who I have regular contact; two if you want to include the various uncles, aunts and cousins inhabiting Wichita.
I still have friends and I still believe my friends are my family but that blood tie -- that quintessential thing that binds us to each other whether we like it or not -- is lacking. And when push comes to shove, the blood relatives are the ones who define my past and influence my future. And most of them are dead or dying.
I told my sister to give my nieces a hug and a kiss from me. I wish I could have given it to them myself. Showed them how much they -- part of my ever-shrinking family -- mean to me.
Blood is thicker than water. Calm waters run deep.
There's something there -- I can almost taste it -- but then it's gone.
We visited my parents grave and my grandmother just before we left Kansas. Those visits made me realize something: my family is dwindling. I don't have a mother or father, both my grandfather's are dead as is my dad's mom. My grandmother is mute and, if it weren't for the fact her eyes seemed to brighten when Celia sang to her, she's all but dead. Of my relatives, I can count on one hand who I have regular contact; two if you want to include the various uncles, aunts and cousins inhabiting Wichita.
I still have friends and I still believe my friends are my family but that blood tie -- that quintessential thing that binds us to each other whether we like it or not -- is lacking. And when push comes to shove, the blood relatives are the ones who define my past and influence my future. And most of them are dead or dying.
I told my sister to give my nieces a hug and a kiss from me. I wish I could have given it to them myself. Showed them how much they -- part of my ever-shrinking family -- mean to me.
Blood is thicker than water. Calm waters run deep.
There's something there -- I can almost taste it -- but then it's gone.
